a decade with taylor swift

when i sat down to write this little ode, i realized that i really didn’t have any memory of how i was introduced to taylor. but then it hit me. i was a freshman in college. on myspace. {lol, myspace.} remember how we all had ~profile songs~ or whatever that would play when someone visited your page? i don’t know whose page it was, but i now have such a clear memory of hearing a song called tim mcgraw by some girl named taylor for the very first time. i was instantly hooked. how were these lyrics so full of heartache and hope and perfectly capturing the feeling of being a teenage girl from a small town? how was this artist i had never heard of so instantly relatable? i loved country music at the time, but it wasn’t something that ever really felt like it was written for me.

if you know me at all, you know i don’t love the things that i love just a little. i am all in. i believe this started with cabbage patch kids, and then nsync. also cheese and starbucks and target and goldendoodles. anyway. back in those days, taylor was super active on myspace, writing blog posts and interacting with fans. {i feel 100 years old talking about myspace this way, just fyi.} this girl was somehow capturing those feelings of longing and nostalgia for people and relationships and places while she was still living in those moments. or maybe the moment hadn’t even actually happened yet. she made me feel it all, her words still echoing in my head in so many moments throughout the last decade. and she was spending so much time connecting with fans. meeting them at shows. talking to them online. she recorded vlogs on tour and with her band, she introduced us to her best friend abigail and shared so much of her life, really making it feel like i had this sorta dorky friend in tennessee who just happened to be amazingly talented and traveling the world singing her songs. 

fast forward a year or so from tim mcgraw, and i now, alongside her debut album, had every unreleased song she’s ever performed anywhere on my iPod. {lol, iPods.} i had so many terrible quality demos and recordings of songs like i heart ? and i’d lie and my favorite of them all, the audio ripped from a video of taylor and an acoustic guitar, performing on her bus for a couple of people, a little song called fearless. i can’t stress enough how low quality the sound was and how much i loved this song that i didn’t even care. the stories she told, even though i was no longer an angsty teen feeling angsty feelings, made me feel i t a l l lllll. there is a quote from new girl’s jessica day about how no matter how old we get, we’re all still 15 year old girls inside. nothing makes me believe this more than listening to any of these early taylor songs. 

in 2008, the summer after my junior year of college, one decade ago, i came home and talked my best friend into going to see taylor open up for rascal flatts. it was june and outdoors and so hot, but i couldn’t believe i was finally getting to see her live. she performed just a few songs, and then we wandered around, mostly because i didn’t care about rascal flatts. i was determined to find taylor and give her a hug, and I’m pretty sure cyndi had no idea just how good my skills in this particular area were. we walked around to the back of the venue, found her bus, and waited. her band showed up, we took pictures, and a small crowd started gathering. a man came out and said that she was in the bus visiting with some of her family in town, and that if we all got into a line and quietly waited, she would come out and take pictures. when it was our turn, i handed the man my camera and i never said a word to her. i just stared and posed for the picture and then it was over. she was so gracious and warm and i couldn’t even say anything! 

what a moment. how lucky i was to meet this person who had created the soundtrack to my life and feelings and i couldn’t even find the words to say to her! but it didn’t even matter. 

and then, a few months later, she announced that her second album was coming out in the fall and would be called fearless, which meant that i could stop listening to that terrible audio file and i was going to get a real version of my favorite song. i didn’t tell her how much i loved that song, but she went ahead and named her album after it. 

since then, there have been so many concerts, so many tears cried to all too well, so many proud moments and album releases and grammys and happy relationships and breakups and mistakes made and growing up and i feel like we’ve done it all together.

and now, ten years and one month after first meeting taylor, i’m a grown woman, flying myself to new york this week to see her live for the 7th time. i normally get taylor-concert-day-anxiety on the day of the show, where i tear up for no reason and need to get to the venue hours early just in case and i can’t eat or really say much or function, and today, in the car with my mom while listening to reputation, that feeling hit me, one week early. if you had told twenty-year-old angela, standing next to taylor in that picture, that someday she would see taylor live in her favorite city after meeting her best internet friend irl for the first time {another exciting story for another day}, she would have definitely believed you but also would have had a full-on panic attack at the thought. 

it feels like i’m fulfilling a small part of my destiny this week, and i can’t believe it’s real. and taylor, if you’re reading this, i’m so proud of who we’ve both become. please sing all too well on metlife night 3.